The Resistance Removal Formula: How to Turn a “No” into a “Yes”

Have you ever tried to persuade someone, only to be met with resistance? Whether you’re negotiating a deal, resolving a conflict, or trying to motivate a team, resistance can feel like an insurmountable barrier. But what if there was a way to turn a "no" into a "yes" without being pushy or manipulative?

Enter the Resistance Removal Formula, a powerful technique rooted in psychology and persuasion. In this post, we’ll break down this formula step by step, showing you how to overcome objections, restore autonomy, and guide people toward making decisions that benefit both of you.


What is the Resistance Removal Formula?

The Resistance Removal Formula is a structured approach to persuasion that helps people overcome their objections by restoring their sense of autonomy and helping them generate their own reasons for change. It’s not about forcing someone to agree with you—it’s about guiding them to see the value in your proposal on their own terms.

The formula consists of four key steps:

  1. Restore Autonomy: Let the person know it’s okay to say no.
  2. Ask for Their Reasons: Encourage them to share why they might want to change.
  3. Scale Their Motivation: Gauge their level of interest on a scale of 0 to 10.
  4. Ask Why They Rated It That High: Help them strengthen their own reasons for change.

Why Does the Resistance Removal Formula Work?

The Resistance Removal Formula works because it taps into two fundamental psychological principles:

  1. Autonomy: People resist when they feel their freedom is being threatened. By restoring their sense of autonomy, you reduce their defensiveness.
  2. Self-Persuasion: When people generate their own reasons for change, they’re more likely to commit to it. This is far more effective than trying to convince them with your own arguments.

How to Use the Resistance Removal Formula

Here’s a step-by-step guide to using the Resistance Removal Formula in any situation:

  1. Restore Autonomy:
    • Start by letting the person know it’s okay to say no. This reduces their defensiveness and makes them more open to conversation.
    • Example: “If you don’t want to do this, that’s completely okay. I’m here to support you either way.”
  2. Ask for Their Reasons:
    • Encourage them to share why they might want to change, even if they’re hesitant.
    • Example: “If you were to consider doing this, what might be some reasons for you?”
  3. Scale Their Motivation:
    • Ask them to rate their motivation on a scale of 0 to 10.
    • Example: “On a scale of 0 to 10, how much might you want to do this?”
  4. Ask Why They Rated It That High:
    • Instead of asking why they didn’t rate it higher, ask why they rated it as high as they did. This helps them strengthen their own reasons.
    • Example: “Why did you rate it a 6 and not a 3?”
  5. Guide Them to the Next Step:
    • Once they’ve articulated their reasons, ask what the next step might be.
    • Example: “What’s the next step we need to take to move forward?”

Real-Life Applications of the Resistance Removal Formula

The Resistance Removal Formula can be used in a variety of situations:

  1. Sales: Overcome objections and close deals by helping customers see the value of your product.
    • Example: “If you were to consider this solution, what might be some benefits for you?”
  2. Leadership: Motivate your team by helping them connect with their own reasons for achieving a goal.
    • Example: “On a scale of 0 to 10, how motivated are you to hit this target? Why did you rate it that high?”
  3. Relationships: Resolve conflicts by helping the other person see the value in finding a solution.
    • Example: “If we were to work this out, what might be some reasons for you to want that?”
  4. Therapy: Help clients overcome resistance to change by guiding them to their own motivations.
    • Example: “If you were to consider making this change, what might be some reasons for you?”

Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Skipping Autonomy: If you don’t restore the person’s sense of autonomy, they’ll remain defensive.
  • Pushing Too Hard: The goal is to guide, not force. Let them come to their own conclusions.
  • Ignoring Their Reasons: Always focus on their reasons, not yours. This is about them, not you.

The Science Behind the Resistance Removal Formula

The Resistance Removal Formula is rooted in psychological reactance theory, which states that people resist when they feel their freedom is being threatened. By restoring autonomy, you reduce reactance and make them more open to change. Additionally, the formula leverages self-persuasion, which is far more effective than external persuasion because it taps into the person’s own motivations.

 

The Resistance Removal Formula is a game-changer for anyone looking to overcome objections and guide others toward positive change. By restoring autonomy, asking the right questions, and helping people generate their own reasons for change, you can turn resistance into cooperation and "no" into "yes."

Start using this formula today, and watch as your ability to influence and persuade others reaches new heights!

- Dr. David Snyder

Published at: March 6, 2025
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