Secrets of Real World Conversational Hypnosis


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Transcript Below:

Apparently I ran into the maximum size limit wall. So here is the rest of the transcription with just a couple of lines of over lap.
Peace and tranquility.
“G. Ray” Glenn Sr.

Transcript of video [running time is 17:09]
We call it the matrix. I call it the grid. OK. When we can tap into the underlying code, we can change how our nervous system processes any memory, or any thought, or any frame.

If all you did was take pictures of people who you’re going to present to. And you make your picture really big… and theirs much smaller … you’re going to walk in ten times more confident. Without having to do anything else.

If you changed your physiology, you’re going to walk in there and you’re going to radiate, … important word… you’re going to RADIATE…unconsciously… preconsciously, to their nervous system, a different frame.

Their perceptual filters are going to shift. And their first impression is going to predispose them to seeing you as more authoritative.

And you didn’t say a word.

Is that good enough?

Male student: the value back, that’s what I want right there. (talking about what you are selling, the customer will want it) I call it the Dracula.

David: The Dracula.

Male student: I’m just saying that if you have the look, they will want the purchase.

{David does the two finger “I’m watching you” sign}

David: Yeah. Well heck there is like… {class break out in laughter}

Just to recap, the first step is always “control your state.”

I don’t care if you’ve studied Ericksonian language for fifty years. If you walk into an interaction and your state is out of whack, nothing happens.

You’ll be completely incongruent and sound like a moron. Ok. I regularly sound like a moron. Just kidding.

Female Student: yeah but we don’t know that.
Male Student: Just an observation.
{lots of laughter}

Male Student: (something about Body language)

David: It’s all in the body language. Guys I’m telling you. Erickson couldn’t use his body, (he had polio) You’ve got to understand something. He didn’t have a body to use. He only had his eyes, for most of his life.

Sometimes he managed to get out of the wheel chair. Most of his discoveries made about people came from observation. Because that’s all he had. Alright? We have much more.

We have much more juice that we can push into the system. OK?

So What time is it Jon?

Jon: Just about eight (8)

David: Let’s take a seven minute break.
[question from a student] Yes sir?

Student: You’ve got State Control and Rapport. Can you at least give us the other four?

David: I was going to give it to you anyway. Alright here you go.

I tell you what, I’ll give you all six, alright?

[fun banter between David and the student] [lots of laughing]

Male Student: Yes there you go. There you go.

David: Relax, relax there, let go, breathe….Oommm OOmmm

Male Student: I’ll take you back in L.A.

David: By the way, this video will be available on my website. Traditionally I post the videos of all my meetups on my NLP website, or my power website,

Or my covert hypnosis website for about a week to two weeks. Then they go into the members area for my personal students only.

But again you guys came out and I’m going to deliver as much as I can, as deeply as I can, in the time we have. And if you want more, I’ll show you where to go.

OK. Back to the CRITICAL PATH OF INFLUENCE. Alright? Derek, what was the first one?

[David erased what had been on the white board at this point]
Written on white board now.


1. Traditional (or NLP style)
2. Vibing. Vibrating at the same harmonic frequency
3. Coherence. The deepest form of rapport.


STATE CONTROL. 80% of all the persuasion I do guys and gals I do right here .

Second is RAPPORT. Rapport has 3 levels in my world.

We have traditional rapport, which is NLP style rapport.

We have vibing.

And you have Coherence. Coherence is that deep molecular level Rapport that I mentioned. If you want to go do the science on that, go to HEARTMATH.ORG. I won’t get too far into it, but it is physiological entrainment. Physics. OK.

It has nothing to do with suggestion or belief. It can’t NOT happen. (it must happen) It is the most powerful form of rapport you can get.

After that, it goes into LANGUAGE PATTERNS.

[Female student has a question on the traditional NLP meaning. I couldn’t hear it very clearly.]

Female student: Can you go back and explain about the traditional NLP type of what?

David: Rapport… When I talk about that as the traditional matching and mirroring, pacing and leading style, That NLP, Ericksonian Hypnosis, and many sales programs teach you.

How many people here do NOT know what I mean by PACING AND LEADING. OK. If you don’t know what I mean by pacing and leading. A pace is, in neuro-linguistic speak, is basically anything that can be verified as true.

So if I say, “Galena is blonde.” Everybody here can look at Galena and see that she is blonde. Because I can verify it through my senses. (sight, sound, taste, feeling, or smell)

It is also true if I can verify something cognitively. (by thinking it through) “You’re all sitting here having certain thoughts.”

Right? The first thing I say when I say “you’re all having certain thoughts” is you do a system check. “Well shit I am. He’s right!” [laughter] Right?

You can NOT resist pacing and leading. If all I did was sit here and tell you things that was true about the environment. You would go into a profound state of trance. Aka boredom. (aka means Also Known As)

But you would also lose track of when I was actually telling you things that were true and began telling you things that I wanted you to do instead..

And this is even before I use language patterns. This is one of Erickson’s big things. Just pacing and talking about things in the environment that you just couldn’t argue with. So your critical factor just checked out.

Male student: I think that’s what a lot of ???? do….. (not sure what was said)

David: They do a lot of “cold reading.” I call it the 60 – 40 split. Everybody here know what “cold reading” is? Cold reading is when people make observations about you and say things in such a way that you just can’t argue.

Like most …. I don’t want to even go into it.


David: I will get off on tangents. I love going off on tangents. I love questions. I love dialog. I love interaction, but I go off on tangents. So … ask at your own peril.

Once you get past language patterns, we go into what we call “STATE MANAGEMENT.”
And there are a gazillion ways to manage somebodies state.

But the distinction I want you to make in this process is when we are talking about #1. STATE CONTROL. We are talking about yours. What you do to your body, to your mind, to your emotions.

When we talk about STATE MANAGEMENT, we are talking about running them through or initiating in them, a state process or an experience that we want them to have.

Now in order to figure that out, there is one thing we have to start with. Remember when you’re going to do any kind of hypnosis, or any kind of persuasion, ….

How many people here have a long term goal of writing a book someday. [show of hands]

Female student: I already did.

David: Did you write it?

Female Student: Yes.

David: Excellent! Give her a big round of applause.

David: How many people here tried writing that book at least two or three times and didn’t get past the second page? [chuckles from class]

Want to know why? Because you started from the beginning. If you want to be successful in writing, or creating anything. Begin at the end and work backwards.

(to female student who wrote the book) Is that how you did it?

Female student: yes.

David: Always start with the end in mind. If you’re going to enter into any kind of persuasion or interaction you got to know what your outcome is. And how you know you’re getting it.
Because if you don’t have it established, you wont know how to change your course.

Most of us when we try to write a book or create a communication, we try to start at the beginning and we try to figure it out as we go, and we keep adding pieces and we wind up someplace completely different. So always establish your outcome.

STATE MANAGEMENT is the primary way we start to get a little bit creative.

We could go into STATES. What kind of emotional states do these people have to be in? What kind of process do we want them to go in their mind.

Right? How can we create analogs that establish patterns, in their brains, that generate certain types of behaviors? Right?

After that, we go into PROCESS. In other words, what is the order and sequence of the words that came out of their mouth. Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, “What’s their strategy” as what NLP would like to say.

Which by the way, if all you do is repeat a persons words back to them, you’ve already short cutted 80% of that. If you just give them their words back, in the order and sequence, that they came out of their mouth. You will automatically be in their optimum strategy. You will automatically be in their modalities. Visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, representations.

You wont have to guess. Everything will line up. You don’t have to get creative. You don’t have to elicit anything. All you have to do is pay attention.

And give it back to them, and they will go into a profound state of rapport, and compliance with you.

NLP will teach you, very intricate, complicated, ways of eliciting somebodies strategy, that takes forever.

You don’t need it.

Because whatever comes out of their mouth has already been processed. By the part you’re seeking to influence. So just do it back to them.

So I’ll tell you stories about when I went to Israel, to do big training for security companies and stuff.

Never have a tougher audience than a room full of Israelis. Whooh!

Female Student: Did you know I’m from Israel?

David: I know you’re Israeli. I had a… They flew me out there, and I had to do trainings for the VP’s, I had to do trainings for the R & D department, the marketing department.

And Man they did not want to believe any of it. They did not want to believe anything I had to say.

So I had to ZAP them.

I’ll tell you that story later. The last thing on list, which we actually started with earlier is, “CRITERION VALUES.”


{Note: Imagine a bullseye with six circles. The center circle is #6 from the white board list above. With #5 being the next circle out from the center. And #4 being next. And so on and so on. This is the diagram from his $2000 course. And you get it here, for free. 🙂 }

The emotional foundations of their identity. When you talk to someone about their criterion values, … their emotional hot buttons, … you automatically engage the reptile brain, … the limbic system, … and the neocortex. (all 3 parts of the brain)

You stimulate and caress the building blocks of what’s MOST important to that person, … in their life, … in that context, … at that exact moment, … in a way that they can not ignore.

OK? They will go into a profound trance state. But it wouldn’t be a trance state that the average hypnotist would recognize.

But it is one that is extremely useful.

Because you have bypassed the critical factor.
You’ve created in them a state of acceptable selective thinking.

Now all that you have to do is to connect what you offer with the words that came out of their mouth, for a long enough period of time, their convincer strategy, which is another program that runs inside their head, will cycle through it a set number of times, and they will do business out of default.

As long as you do it congruently.

OK? Now, I didn’t show you the diagram. (the persuasion bullseye diagram described above)

I showed you the process. I’ll do this real quick. Let me see if I can find it.

Is this useful, by the way? {class says yes many times} Are you guys having fun with this.

Alright. Sometimes getting a lesson from me is like getting a sip (of water) from a fire hose! {laughter}

Ok, this is from my $2000 Covert Hypnosis Course, called Covert Influence.

But if you were to look at this diagram, you can see that I have the linear list, one, two, three, four, five, six steps. Right? (indicating the 6 parts of the Critical path of Influence)

(copied from above for review)


1. Traditional (or what’s known as NLP style)
2. Vibing. Vibrating at the same harmonic frequency.
3. Coherence. The deepest form of rapport.

{Note: Imagine a bullseye with six circles. The center circle is #6 from the white board list above. With #5 being the next circle out from the center. And #4 being next. And so on and so on. This is the diagram from his $2000 course. And you get it here, for free. 🙂 }

David: This is your persuasion bullseye. At the very center of their persuasion bullseye is a persons criterion values. They are the foundations of their identity.

If you change a persons criterion values, you change who they are. Most people don’t have the skill to change that, but it does exist. OK?

From the periphery, … to the center, (outside to inside) means global to specific. Anything I using about State Control, with Rapport, with Language Patterns, … affects anyone within the sound of my voice.

So I can be speaking to one person, or an entire room (full of people), just like I am now.

Can you understand that?

As I move to the center of the diagram, the amount of influence and persuasive ability that I wield becomes exponentially more powerful.

However, it becomes exponentially focused on one unique individual.

So utilizing and understanding this model.
We have a universal model of persuasion, that works in large groups,

• written communication
• email,
• texting (we tested it),
• instant messenger,
• any form of linguistic communication.

From Global, to one on one. If you follow this process…. Step A …. Step B …. Step C.

The only thing you need after this, is having the sensory accruity, the ability to perceive if what you are doing, … is having the affect that you want.

Does that make sense?

You don’t need a lot of language patterns. You don’t need … first of all… NLP teaches over 31 different discreet language patterns. Which ones do you use, when?

How many people here are familiar with all of the Ericksonian language patterns?

I’m not. I can barely spell complex equivalent.

But the reason this is visually diagramed like this is because, one of the limitations of our auditory processing system, our ability to hear, is that it is linear.

So many times when I start explaining things, … I have to actually use the language patterns, … so you go into trance and you kind of consciously miss it. Even though it goes in… it doesn’t consciously register right away.

But when you see this graphically. You can understand how it all fits together. Does that make it more clear for you.

OK? Yes sir?

Male student: (asked a question) Most of my career I was a software engineer, and I was freelancing. Early in the career I found it very difficult to convince clients that they needed to buy, so I sort of gravitated to the idea of listening to what they said, and asking them questions and let them come up with the conclusion themselves.

David: Perfect!

Male student; And then I told them how smart they were. And then I got what I wanted.

David: Yep! Absolutely.

Male Student: So that sounds a lot like what you’re talking about.

David: Exactly the same thing. Give him a big round of applause.

Here’s …. When it comes to covert influence, and when I say covert I don’t mean non-ethical, I just that we’re not …”hey I’m trying to persuade (hypnotize) you.”

People will resist what you tell them. Even if they know it’s for their own good.

Even if they know that you have their best intentions and their best outcomes at heart, they will still resist you. That’s a form of resistance known as “REACTANCE.” we’ll cover that in another time.

But if you give them the information. Or talk to them in such a way that they come to the conclusion about it, they don’t resist that.

So what we want to begin to do is talk to people in such a way that they pre-suppose, they come to the conclusion that we want them to have, on their own, without us having to tell them.

That’s one of the secrets behind Ericksonian metaphors. You never explain your metaphor.
Right? For those of you who are familiar with that at all.

So before I turn you loose on the bathrooms. Do you guys have any questions about anything that I’ve covered?


Male student: You were talking about what you covered yesterday, so I just working right now on self management to be more productive during the day.

The second thing is, if I want to program myself to wake up at a certain time. How can I do that?

David: Oh that’s easy. That’s easy. I actually teach that. We actually… In our hypnosis classes what we do is we actually put people into trances for exactly 30 seconds and have their unconscious mind bring them out.

We time them. (with a stopwatch) That’s actually one of the first things we teach in our hypnosis classes. Because we live in a culture, unfortunately, that teaches us not to trust our unconscious minds.

It devalues that side of us and so we never play with it. We spend more time on reading, writing and arithmetic and not learning how to use our imaginations.

Or how to manage our emotions. We want to be logical and rational. When it’s the weakest part of you.

Trust me. I’m a hypnotist. {laughter}

Alright. Let’s take a seven minute break. Use the restrooms and come back and we’ll get into some language patterns and stuff. OK?

Male student: We want everyone to know that there is coffee up front as well as water. There is snacks and maybe…

End of video.


G. Ray Glenn Sr
[email protected]
Submitted on 2014/11/29 at 2:02 pm

A great workshop, as always. Always so much to learn. Hopefully David will post more great videos soon.

Here is my transcript of the video. As always I have filled in a few words here and there to close some loops. I have also added a few transcriptionist notes to clarify a sentence, or give other resource links, but I remain faithful to as close as word-for-word as I can.


On occasion it was difficult to make out a student’s question or comment from the floor but I did my best to make out what was said, and the response given to it.

It is my sincere hope that anyone who, American English, is not their first language, can use my transcript to help them understand, learn and enjoy what David is sharing.

Peace and tranquility.
“G. Ray” Glenn Sr.

Transcript of video [running time is 1:17:40]

David: The trances they are in are not very useful for the outcomes they want.

Student1: That’s very true. I was just looking for a trance -????

Student2: You’re not one.

David: I’m not one? [laughing] You are what you drink. [holding up a Rockstar energy drink]

If you are looking for a boring NLP lecture, you should leave now, because the first thing I have you do is…. stand up and look at each other … and go bbllllloooooooppp.

Because the power is in the playfulness. Because if you’re going to do Hypnosis. If you’re going to do NLP, or anything that deals with the human mind, … you have to play.

That’s why I tell people that you need to learn hypnosis first … before you become good at NLP,

because the bias of most NLP training is that they take this very large hypnotic yardstick,

or neuro-linguistic yardstick, … and stick it straight up your butt.

NLP is so very formulae-ic. First you do this, and then this, and then this, that you have to keep track of so much minutia that you become terrified to make a mistake.

That you become a slave to the script and the pattern.

Whereas, … hypnosis is the sloppiest, … easiest, … most powerful, … forgiving , … form of change-work, … on the planet.

You can mess up 10 times and fix it on the 11th time and nobody will ever know.

Once you understand the principals that govern the mind and how they all work it becomes very very easy to induce trance, … anytime you want, … because they are already there.

Most hypnotic inductions are rituals, … for the hypnotist, … and not the client. …. Like now. ….. Come back to the room.

[laughing] oh shoot he did it to me. I remember when Dorian first started showing up at our sleepwalker meetings.

[Leaving out some inconsequential chit chat about the camera battery]

Well since we’re getting started,…. I like to find out …. and I was just telling Malcom, Igor, and Galina, … is, .. I advertise a topic, … but ultimately what I do for everybody is I try to find out what it is that you want to learn.

Find out what it is that you want to take home.

What is the application that made you want to drive all the way out here from where ever it is that you came from, that if you left here tonight with only that, … it was time well worth it.

Does that make sense?

Student: Yes!

David: So sometimes I give full freedom for us to deviate from the topic if enough people want to go that direction. So that being said, lets start with Malcolm.

Malcolm, what do you want to take home. This week. Today.

Malcolm: What do I want to take home…… I want to ….. Go back practicing some of the things that I learned, but I don’t really feel comfortable with.

David: Name 3. Name 3 …. 3 things that you’ve learned but haven’t used. That you want to practice.

Malcolm: HHmmm OK. Well you mentioned on the website, … to use the techniques more for influencing people.

David: Ok, to do what specifically?

Malcolm: Because I tend to start to, you know, filling in the facts. And I want to communicate better with the emotions.

David: Aahh very good. Excellent! All Right. Anything else? Cause I’m going to hit Doreen up next. Anything else Malcolm?

Malcolm: Ok. That’s it.

David: Doreen, what do you want to take home today?


David: MARKETING! Now there’s a deviation. Actually not. If you want to read some really good hypnotic language, …. some classic NLP style language, … read your shampoo bottle….

What about marketing specifically?

Doreen: I would like to know how to use the right wording to attract people ….

David: to attract people….

Doreen: and keep them interested.

David: That’s probably an important distinction, …. to keep them interested, right?

Because how many of us go to places and there’s lots of words but after about the second or third sentences we’re like ZZZzzzzzz. [zoned out asleep] [not paying attention]

David: Darren right?

Student: Derek

David: Derek, what do you want to take home. …

Derek: Alright, So …

David: I like him already, he’s got energy.

Derek: you get them, … drop them into trance, … pull them out. Ok, that will allow me to covertly influence people.

David: So like instant induction kind of stuff??

Derek: yeah pre hypnosis, call it covertly, do that.

David: [laughing] all in three hours. Playing with paper.

Derek: Well I’m sure you could do it if you’re not side tracked.

David: Ask Jon about what he has seen me do. And what was your name again?

Female student: Laurell {my apologies if I misspelled her name}

White Board writings:

Influencing People
Communicating better
To attract people
To keep them interested
Instant Inductions
Rapport Skills
State Control
State Control

All hypnosis is… is any Process with 2 (or more) states
ABSORPTION in the experience


David: Laurell, Ok, Tell me what you want sweetie.

Laurell: ??? [couldn’t hear what she said]

David: I know you did.

Laurell: so you need me to define my expectations or just restate them?

David: I want to know what is important to you about what you are taking home tonight.

Laurell: Ok, … Well, … to find, I can say that I’ve been pretty reliably getting into rapport with people, almost all the time, but I would like to have a more assured way of doing that. To feel that it is possible under all circumstances, not just selective circumstances, where I feel that I am already comfortable.

Laurell: And then to sustain that rapport

David: To sustain rapport. So give me an example of a situation where you are not necessarily comfortable. Like when some guy in the front of the room is calling on you and telling you to ….


Laurell: No. I’m entirely comfortable. I’m just trying to come up with a right answer here. So maybe in some sort of situation where it’s a little more corporate than I’m used to.

David: Ok.

Laurell: Where people are more formal than I’m used to. In other words in any situation where it’s more casual. Even if it’s business related. You know. It’s easy for me to, you know, play with that. If it’s a little more formal, stiffer, and you haven’t really felt out peoples keywords, and you can’t necessarily ??/ anything. So ordinarily the way that I establish rapport with people is do something funny.

David: Do something funny, Ok.

Laurell: You know, kind of familiar, maybe. In a more casual sense.

David: Ok.

Laurell: So I’m good in those environments. When you’re stiffer, its garbage.

David: Ok. Actually what you’re talking about is, what in my system, we call “State Control.”
I’m going to teach you guys, what I call the “Critical Path Of Influence.”

It’s a six (6) stage formula that basically you can shorten down to two (2) BUT if you ever have, … or are in any situation, and you really don’t know what to do, you just implement these (6) six steps in the order and sequence that I give them to you and you’ll pretty much have as much influence as you’ll want or need.

Ok? It’s the one thing missing from NLP, and most Ericksonian forms of hypnosis. Basically all they tell you to do is “get rapport” and “be confusing.”

That’s pretty much what they do and people wonder why they get thrown out of board rooms or whatever.

Most of what I do has been honed in the real world…under very hostile situations.

And then I take that stuff back into the treatment room and then I use it on my patients. My specialty clinic by the way, for those who don’t know much about me, and I’ll give you my whole laundry list (pedigree) in a minute, is, my specialty is “Physiological Illness that has as its cause, repressed emotion.”

Ok. I don’t get smoke cessation or weight loss patients. Other people get that. OK.

Student: Would you call that psycho-somatic? (an old term for illness caused by the mind)

David: I would but psychosomatic has certain attachments to it that aren’t necessarily true. Like when you say placebo.

When you say placebo, people automatically think its an illusion, it’s fake, it’s not real. When all it really means is that the mind is doing something we don’t understand.

Like when you say hallucination. You say hallucination. All it means is how is the experience being generated. Is it being generated from outside of us or inside of us? We don’t see it that way. We see it as fake or illusory. But that’s not what is going on.

How many people here have seen some of my stuff on Youtube? Have you guys watched anything?

Student: I believe that I have.

David: Have you seen any of the stuff where I do the spinning?

Student: No.

David: If we have time and you want to play with it I’ll let you play with that tonight. That’s instant somnambulism. I use it to take away herpes outbreaks, Multiple Sclerosis, 25 year long cases of constipation, toothaches, migraines, backaches, knee pain, high blood pressure, in minutes.

I have two, what’s the word they use? … catalog cases of tumor shrinkage. By as much as 50%. Just from a 2 minute intervention.

There are a lot of things that we are taught in a certain way, and it’s Ok, but, we’re still doing a lot of things hypnotically speaking, that were discovered hundreds of years ago, and we haven’t really advanced beyond it yet.

There is a lot of neuro-science that cuts through a lot of Bullshit. Bullshit being a really cool technical term that I haven’t come up with a really cool acronym for yet. But I will.

(Transcribers example of an acronym for B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.)
(Basically Unprovable Legendary Lies Sometimes Heard In Taverns)

So I am all about results in the real world, right away.

OK. A lot of the stuff I’m going to be talking about, you may have heard from other trainers. That’s OK. But roll up your sleeves, do the drills, and get the skills, … is what we’re about. Ok.

Sir, What’s your name?

Male Student: Larry

David: Larry! What do you want to take home today.

Larry: Well I have a certification in Hypnotherapy. I did that a few years ago. I plan to retire from software engineering in a couple of years. So right now I need to put together a plan to start my own business.

[someone walking by talking about the men’s room]

Larry: Putting together a plan for what I want to do then. So tonight I’m really here to see how somebody else does it, other than the way that my other teacher did it.

David: Did you train at HNR, by any chance?

Larry: No.

David; Where did you train?

Larry: Michael Benner. (???)

David: Ok. Bennett Stellar?

Larry: No.

David: When you said Bennett, I thought of Bennett Stellar, which is a very well known and respected Hypnosis trainer.

Larry: No. Michael Benner. Open Days Hypnosis (???)

David: Ok. I don’t know him.

David: Ok. Right on. Ok. You sir, who came in

Male Student: Oh you noticed. I try to be quiet.

David: I noticed you tried to be quiet about it.

Male Student: (???) I didn’t mean to interrupt. I didn’t realize you had started yet.

David: I’m not. I am just trying to figure out the ground work for tonight’s class. What I like to do is to create the lesson plan on the spot, for the people. Once I know who’s here. So I want to know what do you want to take home today? What do you want to get out of this?

Male Student: Well I really came here to see, cause I’ve heard, But you teach whatever you want. Just to see what in general to see what you think about so called Ericksonian communications is like.

David: What I think it’s like?

Male Student: Well No… but … Well yeah, what’s wrong with the word think?

David: Nothing. OK, so you just want to hang out and kind of be a fly on the wall. Ok. John… What do you want to take home tonight.

John: I’m really interested in some of the “State Control” stuff.

David: State control. {adds that to the white board} State Control is where it is at. It’s NOT the language. I know that sounds weird coming from a guy who is going to teach you about conversational hypnosis.

Have you ever worked with someone trying to use a language pattern and you just know they are trying to pull something on you.

Ever wonder why? It’s because their state isn’t right.

Ever try to set an anchor on somebody, and later you try to go back and retie the anchor and it doesn’t work? Do you know why? It’s because your state isn’t right.

Anchors…. The human nervous system is a holographic information processing network. It is the most sophisticated one we have, short of the universe itself.

However…. When you go to set an anchor… there is a state that YOU are in, and there is the state that your SUBJECT is in.
Your proprioceptive nervous system locks into that state. And it becomes part of the key that retriggers the state.

So that is why many times when you try to go …. Does anybody here NOT know what I mean when I say, “set an anchor?”

Ok. Do you have a favorite song?

Student from floor: yeah

David: Everybody watch this, [sings] “Come on get happy….” notice how everybody just kind of got a big smile on their faces

That’s an anchor. It’s Pavlov’s stimulus response mechanism. Human beings are natural anchoring machines. That’s the first way we learn. But it is not our first language.

Our first language is actually kinesthetic. Deep kinesthetic and proprioception.

And when we talk about state control, what we’re really talking about, … in the world according to David, … is the ability to tap into a level of synchronicity and vibrational, … the word is coherence, actually. That we actually develop in the womb with our mothers.

It’s a level of non-verbal, pre-conscious processing, that causes peoples emotional states to shift, … and their perceptual filters to change in such a way, … that they become predisposed to only focusing on the aspect of our communication, that reinforces the message we are trying to send.

That’s not something you will necessarily hear in an NLP class. Because it doesn’t come from NLP. It comes from advance neuroscience. OK.

Anybody here know who Paul Ekman is? If you don’t, he is well worth studying. Paul Ekman is the worlds leading authority on emotions … and facial expressions.

He wrote a book called, “Emotions Unveiled.” No no no, “Emotions Revealed.” In which he talks about the “EMOTIONAL REFRACTORY PERIOD.”

And we’ll get to Igor and Galena in just a second.

This is why we keep coming back to this state control thing. What he discovered during his studies of emotions… and how it relates specifically to conversational hypnosis, … anchors and everything else,

Is that, first of all, you don’t realize that you have had an emotional shift until you’re in it. You don’t get a ten second warning that says, “Warning warning Igor you are about to get pissed off, danger danger.” OK? He’s already five or ten second into the emotional state when he suddenly realize that it’s happened.

What nobody realized,… until very recently, … was that these emotional states, … whatever state your body is in, … it wants to maintain.

{people coming in}
David: Are you here for Toastmasters or NLP?
Someone off camera: NLP.
David: NLP is here, toastmasters is over there. It’s ok, come on in.
Female voice: ????
David: That’s alright. That’s my job.

By the way, if you guys feel a little compressed, feel free to spread out, I’m very casual with the way I do things. People who sit closest, get the best stuff.

Getting back to the emotional refractory period, … and why this is important. First of all, understand this.


Period. The higher the level of neurological arousal, the faster the critical factor of the conscious mind checks out.

OK. {writing on the white board}
In the world according to David, all hypnosis is, is any process, that has at least two factors in it.

[those two factors being]
Absorption in the experience
And a continuing narrowing focus of attention

White Board writings:

Influencing People
Communicating better
To attract people
To keep them interested
Instant Inductions
Rapport Skills
State Control
State Control

All hypnosis is… is any Process with 2 (or more) states
1) ABSORPTION in the experience


If you have these two elements then you have what is classically defined as most conventionally trained hypnotists as …

By the way, I don’t write this stuff on the board for you. I write it for me. Because this is how I process. But if you can’t see something, if you want me to repeat something, let me know.

Absorption. Anybody here ever been a little child. {show of hands}

Question from the floor: ????

David: Absorption.

Question from the floor: No, What was the question?

David: Oh. Anybody here ever been a little kid? [laughter]
I always get that laugh.

Now how many people as a little kid, played pretend?

I know you did! I can tell. She’s got that naughty look. What did you play pretend at Laurell?

Laurell: Well I used to pretend I was in the forest or inside a tree.

David: Inside a tree? Cool! Like a a dryad or something?

Laurell: Exactly. I used to pretend that the house and trees were entry ports to other worlds. Full of dryads and elves.

David: And did the trees talk to you?

Laurell: Well they communicated.

Laurell: but not verbally.

David: But you could hear them. Right? And you talked back right? Were you asleep?

Laurell: No.

David: Were you focused? Were you completely absorbed in the experience?

Laurell: Yes.

David: Welcome to trance. Did you play pretend when you were a kid Igor? What did you play at?

Igor: Different things. I don’t know.

David; how many people here played soldier when they were a little kid? {show of hands}
Cops and robbers? Cowboys and Indians? Teacups?

We all know, when we are five years old and we pick up that stick in the back yard,
{police siren in the background} … They’re coming! … {David pretends to run away}

Female student: That’s an anchor!

David: Yes that’s an anchor. Especially in L.A. Right?

We know in the first five minutes when we pick up that stick that it’s just a stick. For the first five minutes. But the more we play with the stick… pretty soon it’s a real AK47. There is real bad guys hiding behind every tree. And we’re shucking and ducking and diving. Were you asleep?

David: No. Were you focused? Were you absorbed in the experience? Yes! Ladies and gentlemen, if you can engender that, you can have anything you want. Because that’s all we’re doing.

Any process that gets you there… you can make or create any effect you want.

So in the world according to David, … a hypnosis is… the technical term is, … “the bypass of the critical factor and the establishment of acceptable selective thinking.”
We’ve been throwing that definition around for a long time and a lot of people know it.

Really what we are talking about is … any process that leads us to a state of absorption and focus that is different than the one we are currently in. OK? And all I have to do to make that happen……. is pause. …… And your focus changes.

So it’s not the language that I use, … necessarily.

By the way, can everybody hear me OK. Because that’s kind of noisy. (in the next room) If we could get the music turned off, that would be kind of good. That’s why I asked if they had a sound system, because sometimes I get a little quiet.

So, going back to the emotional refractory period, When you experience a shift in your emotions, you have a change in your level of neurological arousal in your body.

Whatever state you are in, your body tries to maintain it. So what happens is, …

your unconscious mind begins to shift its perceptual filters. It begins to parse the information in your environment … in such a way, that it retriggers, or reactivates, the emotional state that you are in.

Anybody here ever buy a new car? {show of hands}
Anybody here spent a lot of time researching that new car before you bought it? Oh you just went out and did it right? [laughter] “oh I just fly by the seat of my pants.”

And you’re driving your new car home, happy as a clam, and every motherfucker bought the same car on the same day is driving it around. Right? Motherfucker being a technical term by the way.

If politically incorrect language and stuff like that offends you, then you shouldn’t be here.

What happened? Your unconscious mind became very very sensitized to certain types of information. And that is the information that it called your conscious minds attention to. The other information is still there, but your not consciously being drawn to it.

That is the “EMOTIONAL REFRACTORY PERIOD” in action.
Anybody here ever been in an argument with someone?

Student: Naw. (no) (sarcasm)

David: Not me, huh! {laughter} I’m peaceful motherfucker. {more laughter}

Now, maybe you went through that argument process, …. You resolved the argument… or so you thought you had… and then for the next (10) ten, (15) fifteen, (20) twenty minutes, … whatever you said, … pissed them off again.

What’s that about?

Welcome to the world of the emotional refractory period.

Anytime that you experience an emotional state, … your unconscious mind does not ask your permission, … it does not give you a warning, … it will simply shift what you will consciously pay attention to. And you will focus on, and target on, any communication, context or environment that retriggers, or reinforces, the emotional state, that you are in.

Now how do we use that on a practical level? Well it is very simple once we understand basic NLP rapport, then we start building on that.

You see if I understand how to entrain your nervous system. Which is basically all rapport is. It is the physics principal of entrainment.

It has nothing to do with whether you believe it can happen or not.

I can pull up Youtube video after Youtube video, after Youtube video,… of metronomes,… side by side, and in (4) four minutes, (41) fortyone metronomes synchronize.

Anything made of molecules, anything that’s in motion, seeks synchronicity. It can’t NOT happen.

Ok? So when I start talking to you about state control and I start talking to you about entrainment and rapport and all these other weird words that I’m going to throw at you, it’s based on physics. Not belief.

So the things I’m going to teach you are as reliable as the laws of physics, if you can get out of your own way.

Do you want to be super powerful at hypnosis? Learn the state control stuff that I’m going to talk to you about tonight.

If you want to find the science behind what I’m going to talk about, go to

Yeah…. OK?

Your heart is the biggest, most rhythmic source in your body. It radiates an energy field (8′)eight feet in diameter.

That can be measured with instruments.

It interacts with the proprioceptive nervous system of the human body and they seek synchronicity. When that happens, whatever you feel, the other person starts to feel preconsciously. It doesn’t matter if you you’re consciously intending it or not.

Ok? It has to happen. For most of us though, that process is happening randomly and by default.

We’re not conscious of it. We don’t know it’s there. Therefore it’s random. Most of us are in this room because we want to take the randomness out of our lives. We want to take the randomness out of our communication.

We want to get the things we want in the quickest, easiest, most satisfying way possible.
Would that be true?

Student: and be in control.

David: and be in control.

Sure. Ok. So we talk about state control, it’s not just about pretending. Because I don’t believe in…. Pretending works, … but there is more powerful stuff. OK? And that seems to be where a lot of this is coming from.

If you want to be really good at hypnosis, all you really have to do is be really good at state control.

In my system, even though I’m a leading expert in conversational hypnosis, if you come to my training,… the first day,… you wont learn a single language pattern.

What you will learn, … are very very intense emotional state control drills … that will take you in and out of certain emotional states. [snaps fingers indicating instantly]
Physiologically, and as an act of will, and then you will learn to transmit them, back and forth.

Because if your state is right … you see most of us worry about having the right words. We’re worried about the right thing to say.

You don’t need it. If your state is right, everything from your reptilian brain up, changes your perception of reality, to the point where you could recite the alphabet and have a high probability of getting your outcome, if the state control part is right.

Does that make sense?

Male student: What do you mean by the state control?

David: It’s the cycle of the emotional state that YOU are in. It’s the physiology. It’s the emotional state that you are in and the energy or amplitude of energy that you are putting out.

Male Student: So you’re going to talk to us about this?

David; Yeah, right now…. Everybody stand up. Everybody stand up. Nobody is going to be on camera Laurell. Alright if you guys want to go and do the research, I’m going to give you lots of research material.

You don’t have to believe anything I say. All you got to do is, … do what I say, ….do the drill, … get the experience, go check the science, I’ll give you all the research. OK.

First thing I want you to do is close your eyes. And I want you to remember a time in your life when you saw something you wanted. You decided you wanted it. You knew you wanted it. You made a plan to get it. You put that plan into operation. And you went for it. And you got it, big time.

And I want you to stand the way you were standing at the moment that you realized that you got everything that you wanted.

I want you to breathe the way you were breathing.

I want you to assume the posture. Assume that physiology. Let that energy come back. That’s right. Get into it. Now double it.

Notice that in your body there is a certain place where that energy starts.

Notice that there is a color associated with that feeling.

Point to where you feel it. Double the spin of it.
[loud music from another room] OK so much for the sound.
It’s alright. Go back to the feeling. Go back to the physiology. Now while holding that physiology, of absolute triumph, of absolute victory, of being a winner.

Without changing anything. (don’t move) Without changing a single thing. Try to feel bad.

Notice that you can’t do it.

Now here’s what I want you to do. While holding on to the feeling of victory, I want you to lower your head and roll your shoulders forward. Almost like a depressed posture. And try to feel good.

Now while holding onto that, allow yourself to come a little bit more down.

Now while holding onto that depressed feeling, or that down feeling, shift your body back to the victorious posture… and try to feel bad.

Notice that you can’t do it.

Alright. Have a seat.

Derek, what did you learn?

Derek: Two things. I am really bad at visualizing. But body language and posture affect you.

David: When we try to control our states, what most of us try to do is, we try to control our emotional state as an act of will. We try to create a visualization….

Come on in.

We try to create a visualization or bring back a memory, that causes us to feel a certain way.
In most cases, that’s a very weak way to do it. There is a much stronger way.

A much more reliable way. And that is through using your body.

You see context, emotional arousal, they can all over-ride your will power. Your will power is the weakest part of you. It’s based on two elements. It’s based on the amount of glucose in your system. (sugar in your blood) and the amount of sleep that you’ve had.

If you want to do the research on that, there is a book called, “WILLPOWER” by Roy Baumeister. He’s done intense research on will power.

So willpower is the junk food for the mind. OK? There is this constant worry about people in the hypnosis world making people do things against their will. Most people have no willpower to speak of. They don’t exercise it enough to have any.

And the minute that their nervous system gets too aroused, {snaps fingers} whatever critical factor they have, checks out.

OK. That is a trance by the way. You don’t have to be somnambulant to be in a deep state of trance. OK.

What we want to do, especially those of you who want to be very very powerful in your ability to use conversational hypnosis.

The last thing that you want to induce in people, most of the time, is that drowsy feeling… {groggy sound} … or this confused feeling.

It’s not. You want to be engaged. You want to have them absorbed. You want to have them focused. Kind of like you guys are now. …. Right.

It’s the meta-elements of your communication that will actually drive your hypnotic abilities. It’s not the language patterns. The language patterns are the icing on the cake.

It’s your ability to deliver in a way that arouses and excites the nervous system, that creates focus and absorption, that causes people to go deeply into trance.

But the trances have different dynamics to them, based on the states. So as a hypnotist, your job again, isn’t putting people into trance…it’s getting them from the trance they are in,… to the trance that’s most useful for them getting their outcome.

Hopefully, if you’re ethical, …

{more people arriving}
Is this NLP?
Yes, come on in. It’s alright, I wont tell. [whispers loudly] nobody look at him. [chuckles and laughter from the class]

The secret is, dovetailing what you want with what they want. Which goes back to marketing, to emotional arousal, back to all of these things.

The first thing that we have to talk about…

Female student: I have a question about that exercise you did. I could not connect because I am kinesthetic and I was focused on other people talking.

David: Ok, so when you get a chance…

Student: So what kind of suggestion would you give me so I can get in touch with that good feeling.

David: Come here. [long pause as she makes her way to the front of the class]
So first of all, when we are talking about state control, and controlling our emotional state. The first thing we need to understand. There are generally two ways that people normally go about it.

Ok. The first one is we try to do it through an act of will. We try to will ourselves into a certain state.

Most of the time that will last until the next squirrel runs past you.
[which means any distraction will cause you to fall out of that state]

Ok. But if you practice what I’m about to show you, we’ve just done the first version of it. If you practice what I’m showing you, … and you understand the principle behind it, you can be dead calm in the middle of a war zone.

Because it is based on physiology.

Student: That’s what I need.

David: Ok. [speaking to student]
So do you remember a time when you were relaxed? When you felt really confident.

Student: Yes.

David: Ok, All I want you all to do is stand that way. Yeah.

David: and for two minutes, I just want you to hold it. Don’t worry about anything else. Just hold this physiology.

What happens is, for those of you who want to do the research on this. There is a woman by the name of Amanda Cutty. There was a Ted-talk called “Postures of Power,” I think. And basically….

[to student]
Shoulders back, relax…

Ok, what she discovered was that if you held any physiology, …for as little as two minutes, … your emotional state would change.

She went so far as to have people hold these natural “Victory” postures, …. and within two minutes, their natural testosterone output went up 25%. OK?

Now I’ve been teaching this since the early 2000’s. But science finally got around to teaching it. The physiology that you hold is more powerful than the mindset that you try to keep.

Your body will always override your psychology. Unless you are Spetznaz, or Special Forces, you know, … where you are specifically trained, … to work, and operate…. in those kinds of environments, … your physiology will reliably override your psychology ten times out of ten.

If the stress level rises enough. BUT if we understand that principle, …

[turns to student] How are you feeling?

Student: Great actually! I feel like rolling my shoulders back, lifting my chin up, and I connected with it much better than we did before.

David: Yes, … exactly. OK. Give her a big round of applause.

OK. Once you understand that one principle, and again, there are other principles that stack on to it, but you can be in the middle of a gun battle, and if you have enough presence of mind, and again this is where we still have to have the conscious mind kind of in there. I’m not vilifying the conscious mind at all, but each part of us has to do their job. If you’re going to present to a group, or CEO of a company, and your state is in your shoes, you’re going to lose before you walk in.

So the first step in the critical path of influence, is “STATE CONTROL.” You have got to control your state. That’s level one.

White Board writings (continued) (he erased what was there)



Level two is Rapport. Does anybody here NOT know what I mean when I say rapport? [someone raises their hand] OK, you don’t know what I mean?

Student: It would be like if we like each other.
[ only partially accurate]

David: OK, Rapport is one of those words that if you ask ten different people what it means you will get ten different responses.

In the “World according to David” rapport has three categories. Rapport is a state of being in synch with somebody. It is not necessarily a feeling of liking, though. Let’s understand that.

Student: No no, I said be like them.

David: “to be like them” …. Yes, in a manner of speaking, “to be like them” but I want you to think more of “resonating at the same frequency” kind of moving in synchronicity, there is a two way communication going on. And that’s the important thing to remember when we’re talking about rapport skills, is that there is a TWO-WAY communication going on. There is information being sent, and information being received. Most of it pre-consciously.

In the world according to David…..
{student question from floor}
Yes, Pre-consciously.

Write this down and tattoo it to your forehead….
“The Conscious mind is always the least informed … and the last to know. Period”

By the time information reaches your conscious awareness, it has already gone through two other levels of your brain and an uncountable number of filters.

In NLP we talk about how all information we get is, deleted, distorted, and then generalized. That’s a very very gross generalization of all the subtle filtering mechanisms that go on to create our subjective reality.

Student: You said that the conscious mind….

David: “The Conscious mind is always the least informed … and the last to know, … anything.”

Ok, most of us like to believe that we think in facts, data, figures, blah blah blah. {written on white board}
White Board writings (continued)




That’s not true. OK.

You guys know that you have 3 brains, right?

[nods head up and down] This means Yes, ….
[nods head side to side] This means No….
There will be a test. [class laughs]

OK. Let me talk about the 3 brains real quick because if you’re going to do marketing or if you’re going to do things that really inspire people to take action. You have got to know what brain you are talking to. Ok.

OK, the very center of your brain, roughly, ….( this is your brain on David, by the way.)

You have what the Soviets like to call the “PALEOCORTEX.” (also called the reptile brain)

It’s your reptile brain. It’s the part of you that thinks and acts in primal drives. It is the oldest and most powerful part of you. OK?

I consult with about 30 different lawyers. Personal injury attorneys on how to influence everyone from expert witnesses to judges and juries. Voir Dire, (jury selection process) opening and closing statements, things like that.

Even before I came along, there was a book called, “REPTILE” which if you are not familiar with it, get it. It’s about $200 – $300. but worth every penny. It talks about how to present things to the reptilian brain.

If your budget wont cover it ….

Student question: What’s it called again?

“Reptile”, it is by Don Keenan and David Ball.

Transcribers notes:

(the new title is “Reptile: The 2009 Manual of the Plaintiff’s Revolution”

and you can find it online for under $150 or go directly to the authors website:

And you can get it much cheaper directly from the authors. Under $100.


David: Ok, it’s a very expensive book. But if you really want to be powerful, I mean powerful, … understand the principles in that book.

If you can’t afford that book, there is another book, not quite as good but is very useful called “Pitch Anything” by Oren Klaff.

Now Klaff’s book is almost a direct steal from the Los Angeles Seduction Community. Except that he is using it to pitch multi million dollar deals to venture capitalist.

And its all about frame control, and talking to the reptile brain. There is a saying in the book Reptile: that goes something like this, and it is something well worth remembering …

“I am the reptile. I do not get angry. I make you angry. So that you will do what I want.
I am the reptile. I do not get afraid. I make you afraid. So that you will do what I want.”

Student question: Which means what?

David: I tweaked your limbic system. I tweak your perceptual filters and your emotions so that the things you consciously and unconsciously pay attention to, reinforces the actions that I want you to take.

And then once you begin doing that, I activate your NEOCORTEX, …

[transcribers notes: I’ve added a little more information here for clarity’s sake]

First you have the PALEOCORTEX, which is your reptilian brain, (the deepest part of your brain and mind, ).

Then you have your LIMBIC SYSTEM, which is your mammalian brain, (the unconscious mind).

(The critical factor is a set of filters between the neocortex and the limbic system.)

Then your NEOCORTEX, which I like to call your “RATIONAL LIEING BRAIN.” (Which is your conscious mind)

Your NEOCORTEX, is the part of you that thinks in facts and figures.

It’s the part of you that generates reasons for justifying why you do the things you do, … that have anything to do with the real reason you’re doing them.

OK. How many people here are hypnotists? Raise your hands. How many people didn’t realize they were hypnotists until I asked?

We talk about RESISTANCE in hypnosis. We talk about resistance in any type of interaction. Resistance only has 3 major sources.

Resistance comes from:
1. Any threat that we perceive to the self or specifically our self image. If it threatens how we see ourself, we inherently begin to resist it.
2. If it threatens how we think other people will see us, we will resist it.
3. If it threatens anything we KNOW to be true, we resist it.

Pretty much any form of resistance, … another one I’m going to talk about very shortly called REACTANCE, is going to be the seat of most of the resistance that you’re going to run into when trying to use these skills.

Now if we know, … and I’m thinking strategically now, … yes sir?

Student: Oh no I don’t have a question.

David: Oh I thought you were raising your hand that’s all. OK.

[back to what he was saying]

Let’s think strategically now. Before we get into language patterns and anything else.
If we know that most resistance arises from any threat to how we perceive ourselves,
or how we think other people will perceive us,
or what we know to be true, …
what if we built things into our persuasion message that reinforced how we want people to see us?

How we want other people to see us. What we know to be true. If we build those into our persuasion messages, they become more compelling. They become frictionless. Does tht make sense?

So if you’re going to write marketing copy. Like I know Doreen wants to write marketing copy.

You might want to write how “you’ll see yourself being X,Y,Z. more confident, more powerful, more at peace.”

And other people will notice that and they will be amazed by how you’ve changed your whole life. And you’ll realize how true that is because you can remember how you were. Right? Big picture stuff. Right?

But did you notice, how I began to talk about it, you all began to fill in your own details. Finding elements in your own life when those things were true. That’s called being specifically vague.

You filled in all the details from your own life experience. That’s called a trance. Right?

If I can create a vessel, … for you to fill in your own words, ….or for you to fill in your own meanings,…. then your resistance goes away. Right?

So if I can build these things in, …. again, this is all little peripheral stuff that I just want to put out there and kind of let it gel and come together in such a way, that it makes perfect sense, and is usable by you, by the end of the night.

But let it just percolate unconsciously for right now. I want to put that out there for you. Ok.

So the basic process of communications that we want to work with is we want to communicate from the meat suit up. (the paleocortex)

We want to communicate from the body…. To the limbic system, to the emotions … and ultimately we want to top it off with facts and figures.

This is why this is important.

The more the meat suit, the body is engaged in the process …. The flimsier and less factual the data can be … but the unconscious mind will still go for it.

I’m very serious about that. The more neurological ….

I have a friend of mine who wrote, “Real World Seductions.” Ok. He’s a crazy crazy dude. He’s brilliant, but crazy as a loon.

And he would tell stories about how he would go to these bars, and he would get women all excited and then ask them back to his apartment, to look at his stamp collection.

And they would go. Here’s the point. The more the nervous system is engaged, the more the emotional arousal, in whatever direction, whether it’s for a business proposal, or a date, or whatever, the more the emotions are engaged, the deeper trance state you have.

You don’t need to be somnambulant. You don’t need to have the guy deep asleep. You know, literally snoring in his chair. What you need is a way to get them focused and absorbed in what you’re saying. (absorbed in the experience.)

The fastest way to do that is to find out what is emotionally important to them, and give it to them. In NLP terms, we call that “CRITERION VALUES.”

Anybody here NOT know what I mean when I say criterion values? Ok you know. (only one or two people know)

Ok, each and every one of us, like to think we have an identity. OK? But we don’t. We have multiple identities. But the building blocks of those identities are our values. The things we hold most precious to us… AND … each of those values has a feeling, a label, and a checklist.

Let’s say one of my highest values is “freedom.” OK, well the question might be then, “how do you know when you’re free?”

Well I know I’m free when I can go where I want, when I want, with whom I want, and do what I want, for as long as I want.

The label is freedom. The feeling is usually happiness or some other emotion. But there is a checklist that lets me know that I’m getting it.

When you tap in to somebodies emotions, … somebodies values … they go into a profound trance state.

They experience extreme pleasure. Do you understand what I’m saying? So if I were to say to Derek, “Derek, what’s important to you about learning how to be like Derren Brown?”

(Derren Brown is a famous hypnotist, mesmerist, pickpocket, comedian and all around showman in England. See youtube for some of his shows)

Derek: Probably, all of the above. ???? (I really couldn’t make it out)

David: Alright. I already know now. {laughing}
Alright lets go with Doreen. Doreen, what’s important to you about learning these skills?

Doreen: So I can communicate better with the right niche.

David: So you can communicate better with the right niche. The right what? What was the other word you used?

Doreen: Niche.

David: the niche. Ok. So what’s important about that? If you could use the right words to communicate with the right niche, what would that do for you?

Doreen: I would get busier.

David: You would get busier.

Doreen: I could help them more. And I would activate the word-of-mouth advertising, so I can save some money on advertising.

David: Absolutely. And once you activate that word-of-mouth advertising, and can save more money on advertising and communicate with the right niche, ultimately, just so that I understand you better, what is that going to do for you?

Doreen: Freedom!

David: Freedom!

David: Did you hear the emotion? (in her voice when she said Freedom.)

David: That is what we are going for.

Doreen: I can send my ??? To anyone that I want.

David: Do you see how she is giving you information. She is volunteering information now. That is what you will always get.

When you tap into somebodies deeply held values and criteria, they will start volunteering information. They can’t stop the emotion.

Doreen: that’s true.

David: Right?

Doreen: Yes.

David: Now… did you notice that all I did was repeat your words back to you?

Doreen: No, not until you told me just now.

Male student: criterion values?

David: The words that come out of a persons mouth, are the most perfect words to their nervous system. They have a direct pipeline to her values.

If all I do is learn to describe my own experiences, using another persons key words, the words that they lean on, they will go into a profound state of trance. They will feel connected to me and they will feel that I understand them better than anybody they have ever met.

In minutes. Look at her. And it’s ethical.

Now here is the corollary to that… Now that I know that about Doreen, I now have a direct pipeline to everything that are the building blocks of her emotional identity.

A person can not go against their most deeply held values and criterias without experiencing deep emotional pain.

So it is tremendous power that you have. You can create a life long client, or friend, or a lover, or stalker.

Someone who will not rest until they get payback for the emotional hurt that you caused. OK?

Back when I had my first maritial arts school, back in the early 90’s, in Coral Springs, Florida. This is how I primarily booked most of my students.

I used a technique we call the “ECHO TECHNIQUE.”

And basically, what it amounted to, was whatever words came out of their mouth, those were the words I gave back.

So it would sound something like this.

[pretend telephone call]

David: “Ring ring… Hello, this is Coral Springs Maritial Arts Academy. This is David. How can I help you? ”

Mother: “Hello, my name is Bernice, and I’m looking for karate lessons, for my ten year old son, Bobby.”

David: “Oh hello Bernice. So you’re looking for karate lessons for your ten year old son, Bobby.”

Mother: “Yeah!” [class laughs]

“Ok, so what’s so important about getting karate lessons for your ten year old son?”

Mother: “Well, he’s a little small for his age, and he could use some more focus, and I’m afraid he might be getting picked on at school, he’s not telling me that but I think that’s what’s happening.”

David: “Oh I see… so you think he is getting picked on at school a little bit, and he could use a little bit more focus, he’s a little small for his age.”

Mother: “Yeah!” [class laughs]

David: “Well Bernice, I’ll tell you, we have a special program, just for kids who are a little small for their age. And who need a little bit more … we call it “bully proofing” but its really anybody who might be getting picked on. And what we’re doing right now is we are offering two free classes and a uniform. ”

David: “And Bobby can come in and try the class out and we can show him how to get focused and really try to defend himself and stand up to those bullies who might be picking on him. We have two appointment slots open. One at 5:30 today and one at 6:30 tomorrow. Which one would be easier for you?”

Mother: “5:30″ {Doreen answered, she was so involved in the experience}

[class laughter]

David: “Right? Great! I’ll pencil you in.” Boom.

90% show up rate. You see most of us… if we work in sales … or any kind of marketing… were taught what is commonly known as a traditional “features and benefits” approach.

We just keep throwing feature, after feature, after feature, at them, hoping something sticks. Right?… No.

The fastest way to close the sale. And actually have them ask you for it. Is to ask them what they want.

Galena, what do you want to get out of this class today?

Galena: I just started to meditate and I want to learn more about self hypnosis.

David: So you just started to meditate and you want to learn more about self hypnosis, Ok.

Galena: but also we provide service to people, and it is physical service…

David: Who is ‘we’?

Galena: Me and my cousin.

David: You provide service to people for what specifically.

Galena: It’s a broad treatment.

David: Ok, great!.

Galena: So I feel like all the problems people have are so massive, so I would like to help them and learn so I know how to communicate better.

David; So if you could communicate better, you could help people faster. Absolutely. And do you work with a lot of physically challenged people? [handicapped people]

Galena: Yes.

David; Ok. I just want to understand.
Ok, so what did I do? I used her words. I gave her back her own words.
Galena, how did it feel?

Galena: Wonderful.

David: That’s my point.

Galena: It didn’t feel condescending.

David: Exactly. If you just move through the world making everyone around you feeling ridiculously good … they will give you stuff.

They will literally just give you stuff.

[Hands being raised]

Male student: Is that deeper than rapport?

David: Yes!

Male Student: There you go. That’s really what I want to learn. How to get everything ???? (Couldn’t make it out)

David: People will tell you everything you need to know, to make them do exactly what you want them to do, once you see the matrix. Once you understand the levels of information that are around you.

OK? And again, I don’t want to overwhelm you with everything.

Another Male student: That’s why you were asking questions about “what you want to learn tonight.”

David: Yes. How can I give you what you want, until I know what it is. Right? Because each and everyone of you here is unique. You’re special. And you all came here because there is something you wanted. And as you connect the reason you came … with the information that I’m teaching …..

[More people showing up]
Come on in. Christine, Christian.

[voices] Hi!

David: As you connect what you want, to the information that I’m giving you, you’ll naturally find logically and intuitively new ways that you can begin to apply this information, in a way that makes sense.

That’s useful for you. At whatever level of skill that you have.

And the more you work with whatever level of skill that you have, the more rapidly, you’ll go deeper into these understanding and these learnings.

And be able to use them even more effectively. And feel good about it, because you’ll already know that you’re doing it 100% ethically.

You’re finding out what people most want in life and linking what you have to offer in a way that they want, … that both of you get it.

And isn’t that why we’re all here?

Except for maybe Derek, who wants to be me. [laughter] Naw, I’m just teasing you brother.

Yes! [pointing to a raised hand]

Female student with question: Can you give some maybe non-verbal ways to do that with someone who,… let’s say is … just a rock. They’re just not very talkative, and maybe you try to start a conversation, and ask them some questions and they’re just not responsive.

David: Ok, I need a context.

[52:58] [hard to make out this full question]
Female student: Ok, lets say you go into a business meeting. And there are very powerful clients and you’re there for a business meeting and you want to try to give a report and even before the meetings starts, they are dismissive and or condescending. How do you handle that?

David: OK. First of all, never go in [to any meeting] feeling run down. That’s what we call “FRAME CONTROL.” And that’s a little outside of the purview of what we’re going to do here tonight.

If somebodies not willing to engage in a conversation with you, write them off.

I’m serious.

Male student: but if you can’t???

David: Well if you can’t, you can’t. And you do the best you can, but, you have to go in….. If you go into a situation,… in your mind already one down, you’ve already lost.

This is the hardest part about ….
Does anybody here know what I mean when I talk about “Frame Control?”

[Nods head up and down] This means yes
[Shakes head side to side] This means no.

Ok. Think of a frame as … think about … each and every one of you is moving through the world, … you are the writer, director and star of your own movie.


You get to decide who the star is. Who the protagonist is. Who the antagonist is. What the plot line is. Yadda yadda yadda.

And as long as everybody plays their role life goes fine. But when people start to step outside of their role, they start to improvise, then they’re no longer being who you want them to be.

Right? Anytime two or more people get together there is a battle for who is going to control that frame. Who is going to control the meaning of the interaction.

The common example that I use is, is a dating one. Because I do a lot of work with relationships and advanced communication.

When you see a man approach a woman in a bar or in a venue, who is usually doing the approaching?

This is actually a trick question.

But you know who is initiating it most of the time? The woman. Women initiate 60% of all approaches. They just do it so subtlely that men give themselves credit for it.

But in the traditional dating scenario, a man approaches a woman, and initiates contract.

The frame, … the structure of the frame in any given frame, … you can hold one of three positions.



David; You can be a Dominant, an Equal, or you can be a Subordinate.
Ok? Do you understand this.

When you go into a meeting with a venture capitalist or something like that, and you go in as a subordinate, you’re basically giving up all the power in the relationship. OK.

Now most people don’t realize that you can shift relations in a frame, very subtlely. That’s a whole art form in and of itself. And that’s why I recommend the book by Oren Klaff, because it is all about exactly what you’re talking about.

It’s dead on with what you’re talking about. But on a big picture level, if I approach Doreen, or Malcom, from a position of dominance… Let’s go back to the dating sequence.

I’m getting kind of off base here. When a man approaches a woman, who is the prize?

Male student: The man.

David: [laughing] Alright, I know where you are coming from. [class laughter]

In most cases, … with people who haven’t been trained or understand the social dynamics. If Igor is approaching Galena, in a dating scenario, she’s the prize.

Why? …. Because Igor is seeking something from Galena.


Because of that, because Igor is the seeker, Galena holds all the power.

Galena can give, or with hold validation, or access. Does that make sense?

So if you’re going to pitch a product, or if you’re going to pitch an opportunity, you have to come in as the person giving the opportunity.

NOT the person asking for the sale. Two different positions. Right? But just that subtle shift in your brain will change your physiology. It will change your body language and it will change your tonality.

Preconsciously. Just that tweak, mentally, will do it. If we have time and you guys want to go into it, We’ll do some frame game exercises. I have a lot of that stuff.

But a lot of it goes back to “STATE CONTROL.”

If you can control your physiology, if you can control your posture and your breathing, then you can control your state.

If you can control your state…. You can control your frame.

Ok. When two or more people get together, especially a group of guys who don’t know each other. You always see this. It’s the dick contest.

Alright? Five or six guys get together and everybody starts jockeying for position. Who is the alpha. Right? And there is organized chaos until the alpha emerges. The moment the alpha emerges, everybody falls in line.

Right? It’s a frame. That’s all it is. Human beings are conditioned preconsciously and genetically to create frames. We are always trying to achieve a position in the hierarchy so we know how to act.

Did you hear what I said… so we know how to act. That means we can change it. Most of us don’t realize that we can change our frame. We can change our position in the frame. So we are stuck in whatever position of the person who runs the frame.

If the person who runs the frame, like the CEO, is looking down on you, and you don’t have the courage to tell him to go pound sand, in a way that’s appropriate, but you walk in there like you’re begging for the sale, he’s going to make you go … (through all sorts of hoops.)

[58:33] 3/4
Especially the ones now-a-days, like New York and on the east coast, the kind who wear shorts to work because they can. You know? They are going to make you do all kinds of somersaults before they kick you out.

Right? But if you go in there, holding your frame, and say, “Look this is what I got, you either want it or you don’t man.” “This is an opportunity for you, if you don’t take it … I got six other appointments today.”

Right? But you don’t have to do it in a way that challenges their self esteem but you don’t want to do it in a way that lowers yours.

Does that make sense? It’s hard to do. It’s hard to do. Especially when we’re starting to make pictures in our brain because that’s what usually what happens. It’s an NLP thing.

We make people in our brain of people who have status in our life. We make the pictures of them really really big and out of proportion to how we see ourself. And so we act that way in real life.

Make a picture of someone who has a lot of stature and kind of intimidates you a little bit.

Bring up that picture and if you could image someplace in the space around you, reach out and touch it.

Physically reach out and touch it. OK. Trace the edges of it with your fingers.

[Male student said something I couldn’t make out]

David: That means do what I tell you.

Male student: I’m not coming up with anything.

David: Well pretend then. And then what I want you to do is go shoosh. (grab it and shrink the picture like a window on a computer) Like closing a window on your iPhone.

Notice what happens to the feelings. Now lift it up like that. (raise it above your head) What happens to the feelings? Now bring in down (in front of you) and make it even smaller. (feelings get smaller)

What happens to the feelings?

Now put that shit behind you.

Now what happens? (feelings are gone)

Hooo, hey, that’s where that motherfucker belongs.
{laughter in class}

Right? What the hell just happened? A whole room full of people just went (mimes moving the picture around showing how it affects them)

Below the threshold of conscious awareness is a completely different coding system that forms the foundation of how your perceive reality.

We call it the matrix. I call it the grid. OK. When we can tap into the underlying code, we can change how our nervous system processes any memory, or any thought, or any frame.

If all you did was take pictures of people who you’re going to present to. And you make your picture really big… and theirs much smaller … you’re going to walk in ten times more confident. Without having to do anything else.

If you changed your physiology, you’re going to walk in there and you’re going to radiate, … important word… you’re going to RADIATE…unconsciously… preconsciously, to their nervous syste


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